you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
