yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
