i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
