i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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