someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you told grandpa to call you daddy
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
