its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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