I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
