The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
They took my balls.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
