Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize