some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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