Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
