just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
