Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
