she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
