I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
