I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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