Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
