You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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