Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
