I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
