this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
