A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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