Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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