He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
