if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
