You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
