Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I love black thongs
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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