just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
