well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
