You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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