Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize