idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
