is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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