Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize