so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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