Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
