I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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