I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
