if only i could text you this smell
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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