i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
