i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
