He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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