no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize