Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
