I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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