New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
