Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
