i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My cat gives me a boner
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
