We're facebook friends in real life
I wish life had little blips of pornography
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
