Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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