Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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