Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
