"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
