there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
