omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
