evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
