Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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