i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
