What a fucking waste of an outfit
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How does one acquire holy water?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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