Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
