so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
