Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
