I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
